Ending homelessness, rebuilding lives - Real life story

 Waye C’s story

Wayne is a photographer, St Mungo’s resident and student at our Recovery College. This is his story of his experience of homelessness has influenced his photography and how our Recovery College has helped in his recovery journey. 

I started photography when I was homeless and used it to escape from my thoughts, my location and my situation. I used to be addicted to a lot of different drugs and I used them to cope with my stress and depression. Now though, I use photography as a positive thing to drive myself forwards. When I’m focused on my photography it allows me to express myself in a way that I can’t articulate and it allows me to deal with subjects that I’m having trouble with.

I also use my photography to document different times in my life. A lot of my work comes from when I was sleeping on the streets. I use images to explain my situation to people and to show them what it was like as I find it hard to articulate what was going on. Most people have an assumption of what a homeless person should look like, behave like and what sort of mentality that person should have, which doesn’t reflect most of the people who are actually experiencing it for themselves. So I wanted to share and highlight what it’s actually like through my work.

I took this photograph called My Place when I was sleeping outside a homeless centre. I have anxiety and there were about 40 men sleeping there which made me feel really uncomfortable so I decided to spend the night outside. I walked around for about half an hour and I chose this spot next to a garage door as there were a few boxes there. I decided to take a photograph of me in my ‘natural habitat’ with my sleeping bag and the view of the street.

This photograph is called Morning and was taken in an overnight shelter I stayed in during the winter. I use it as a reminder of how I used to wake up feeling insecure and afraid in a room full of strangers with only a chair between us. Through my photography it allowed me to overcome those feelings and show people a different perspective of what it’s actually like when you’re homeless.

Being homeless is hard enough, but if you’re suffering from a mental illness it makes it even more difficult to get help. The people who are more coherent and confident are able to speak to the staff and get the help they need. Whereas there are people like myself who don’t have the courage, confidence or capacity to engage in conversations or ask for help, so they will ultimately end up back on the streets. Photography has helped me to express myself and to reclaim my voice and my story.

I take part in different Recovery College sessions, including life coaching and wellbeing, music, photography, and movement classes. I’ve found it’s really healthy to be part of a community and they’ve helped to increase my confidence and have opened up new opportunities for me. The photography sessions have helped me improve my craft of photography and find inspiration. We are all part of the same lesson, but it’s really interesting to see other people’s perspectives and it inspires me to try new things or look at a situation in a different light. The classes in general have been fruitful and really interesting. If I hadn’t been doing the classes, god knows where I would be right now.

My work has been shown in a few different places and I sell my photographs to the public. I hope that when someone views my work they can remind themselves to have an awareness of and be mindful towards their neighbour and their fellow human beings. I want to encourage people to see hope, as some people are complicated and diverse but that does not mean they can’t accomplish something when they are given the chance to focus.

I think when the people see a homeless person they become numb because, unfortunately, it’s so common. I think people need be able to view a situation from someone else’s point of view and feel the things that the homeless person may be feeling and to understand this.

David’s story

After his son passed away, David* felt devastated and unable to cope. He ended up not having the money to pay for his rent and found himself sleeping rough. Here, he shares his story and how St Mungo’s has supported him in his grief and to move away from his experience of homelessness.

My son passed away two years ago and I was devastated but didn’t know how to engage with it on an emotional level. I felt numb and struggled to face what was going on, passing through life without things really touching me. I became unable to pay my rent, which lead to my gas and electric being cut off until I was eventually evicted from my home. I spent nearly two weeks in the park homeless. But someone came and gave me the support I needed and I was taken to a St Mungo’s assessment centre and was offered bereavement support.

I wanted to feel emotionally connected to myself – I hadn’t connected with my emotions and feelings when my son passed away. I was taken into care at a young age and was in several care homes until I was 18. It was better to not show emotions, safer to remain passive and not feel. But the support I received through St Mungo’s has helped me to start to talk about my grief.

In the sessions I’ve had, we’ve explored the relationships in my life and looked at how I felt they never touched me in the way I felt they should – I kept people at arm’s length. And this helped me to realise that, when looking at my life as a whole, I’d run away from commitment and in doing so, I’d missed out on some of life’s great moments. But I’ve been learning to have compassion for myself and I’ve been shown how to listen and link my thoughts and feelings to my body. Even if I think I don’t ‘feel much’, my body will often indicate that something is going on – pacing, heart beating faster or my tremor getting worse or better. I was shown that by noticing how my body acts, I can be able to tune into what I’m feeling.

I felt guilty for never properly grieving for my son. But with the help of St Mungo’s bereavement support, I’ve found out about how grief is a complex language of our thoughts, feelings, physicality and behaviour. I’ve learnt that when I couldn’t connect with my feelings, my behaviour reflected my grief. I was supported to find a ‘map’ and having a ‘toolbox’ of ways to be able to connect with my feelings more and manage them – writing them down being one them. So I’ve since started journaling to help connect with my feelings. And things have started to ‘click’ into place – I could write about what I had never admitted to myself or other people. I’ve been able to connect with my past and my present and it’s given me hope for the future. Where before there was just a murky path, now there’s a clear road to recovery.